The Empty Womb

Well the long awaited time is reached its final week, Chris will be leaving on August 7th and we wont see him again until his graduation from boot camp. If all goes well that will be in November. He begins his journey into one of his first paths of his adult life and I know that in many ways this boy that I have seen grow into a young man will be a different man when he returns, but no matter what changes he may take on he will always be my son whom I love and respect and am truly proud of. It will be very hard and emotional for me to see him leave. I can’t begin to imagine what Maria is going through at this time. As a man I cant begin to understand the emotional and physical connection that a mother has with her children from the moment that life begins in her womb life takes on a whole new meaning something that as a man I will never get to experience yet alone understand. From that moment on everything begins to change and when I look back and see the changes that begin to take place it is truly amazing I look back and remember the many things and changes that seemed a bit odd at the time but now somewhat make sense, like how much she hated pizza and how Chris loves it! How the smell of anything spicy just made her sick and Chris cant get enough of the spicy foods, She loved tomatoes and Chris can’t stand them. There are so many things that you never put stock into and as time goes on you begin to see your children grow up and develop and you can see why the connection between a mother and her child is truly amazing from that first moment in her womb she was not only caring for another life but unknowingly taking part in the development of that life she was already living it, The likes and dislikes that would become evident later in life. She cared for him in her womb for nine month and even though she knew him already she would meet him for the first time! Can you imagine knowing someone only to meet them for the first time? Nineteen years later she finds herself once again in a similar experience just as he left her womb empty nineteen years ago so that she could meet him for the first time, he will leave her arms empty, It will be much like the first time she knows him and has cared for him and she knows that when she see’s him again it will be like meeting him for the first time again. So I can only imagine what she will be going through I witnessed how painful it was for her when she met him for the first time and know I will witness how painful it will be to say goodbye for the first time.



1 Corinthians 13

1 Suppose I speak in the languages of human beings and of angels. If I don't have love, I am only a loud gong or a noisy cymbal. 2 Suppose I have the gift of prophecy. Suppose I can understand all the secret things of God and know everything about him. And suppose I have enough faith to move mountains. If I don't have love, I am nothing at all. 3 Suppose I give everything I have to poor people. And suppose I give my body to be burned. If I don't have love, I get nothing at all.

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. 5 It is not rude. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people's wrongs.

6 Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. 7 It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.

8 Love never fails. But prophecy will pass away. Speaking in languages that had not been known before will end. And knowledge will pass away.

9 What we know now is not complete. What we prophesy now is not perfect. 10 But when what is perfect comes, the things that are not perfect will pass away.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I had the understanding of a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

12 Now we see only a dim likeness of things. It is as if we were seeing them in a mirror. But someday we will see clearly. We will see face to face. What I know now is not complete. But someday I will know completely, just as God knows me completely.

13 The three most important things to have are faith, hope and love. But the greatest of them is love.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Remembering Chad Matz

As I look back today thinking about the friendship that was once here but now is in the presence of our lord and delighting in the one thing that he loved more than anything else in this life that we are still a part of, I still remember all the times and conversations I shared with Chad some not nearly as long as I would have liked them to have been, true friendship’s are so rare and he's was one of those rarities that just make that enormous impact in your life one that you don’t realize the extent of it until it is not accessible again. A humble but very competitive person I have not known one better. I remember the first time I found out his life story I was blown away and later on I realized what it all meant, can you imagine having wealth and a Hollywood actor for a godfather and them getting a part in a HBO movie and have the most awesome basketball skills to play with any NBA Basketball Team everything you could ever want. But the most important thing was not there and he knew it, so one day he left it all behind and through the journey found himself in Fort Worth Texas a very long way from California he left comfort and prestige in exchange for a journey with Christ. I still remember the first day we talked about my leukemia there is something about that type conversation that when you talk with someone like Chad you could see how it affected him to see others struggle with illness, and still today I look back at our conversations especially that one when he told me that he had lymphatic cancer I was at a loss for words, I remember him telling me a man can say that he is ready for anything he is confronted with until that which he is confronted with” he has no control over, sure enough I knew exactly what he meant he was there for me to uplift and edify me in my time of despair and disbelief and now I was taking the same roll with him, we talked about so many things as the months passed it all seemed to happen so fast, the one thing about his death that comforts me is how God prepared him for the path to come I could tell you the awesome story but I decided to upload the video of him when he went back to Redeemer Lutheran Church. Everything is based around 1.29, which happened to be his beloved paragraph in the Bible if you notice it was always highlighted in his Bible.

John 1:29
29The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.




John 1

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2The same was in the beginning with God.

3All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

6There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.

7The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.

8He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

9That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

10He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.

11He came unto his own, and his own received him not.

12But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

13Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

14And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

15John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.

16And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.

17For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

18No man hath seen God at any time, the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.

19And this is the record of John, when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, Who art thou?

20And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ.

21And they asked him, What then? Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not. Art thou that prophet? And he answered, No.

22Then said they unto him, Who art thou? that we may give an answer to them that sent us. What sayest thou of thyself?

23He said, I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord, as said the prophet Esaias.

24And they which were sent were of the Pharisees.

25And they asked him, and said unto him, Why baptizest thou then, if thou be not that Christ, nor Elias, neither that prophet?

26John answered them, saying, I baptize with water: but there standeth one among you, whom ye know not;

27He it is, who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose.

28These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing.

29The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

30This is he of whom I said, After me cometh a man which is preferred before me: for he was before me.

31And I knew him not: but that he should be made manifest to Israel, therefore am I come baptizing with water.

32And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.

33And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.

34And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.

35Again the next day after John stood, and two of his disciples;

36And looking upon Jesus as he walked, he saith, Behold the Lamb of God!

37And the two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.

38Then Jesus turned, and saw them following, and saith unto them, What seek ye? They said unto him, Rabbi, (which is to say, being interpreted, Master,) where dwellest thou?

39He saith unto them, Come and see. They came and saw where he dwelt, and abode with him that day: for it was about the tenth hour.

40One of the two which heard John speak, and followed him, was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother.

41He first findeth his own brother Simon, and saith unto him, We have found the Messias, which is, being interpreted, the Christ.

42And he brought him to Jesus. And when Jesus beheld him, he said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona: thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, A stone.

43The day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee, and findeth Philip, and saith unto him, Follow me.

44Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter.

45Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.

46And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see.

47Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!

48Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee.

49Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel.

50Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these.

51And he saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.



4 comments:

DONDO said...

To the individual that placed this fitting memorial for my son...thank you so much!

Don Matz, a proud father

Anonymous said...

My Main Man BIG Chad!!!!! At Metroflex wearing my Novakane Shirt Getting Swole :)). Gotthat. Wes Hendrix

RexRussell said...

I am trying to get in touch with Chad Matz father, Don or his brother Scott. My name is Rex Russell and I wrote a book with the permission and full knowledge of Don & Scott and it includes a chapter about Chad's life and how I met the three of them just before Chad went home to the be with the Lord. I have somehow lost Don's cell number. Please get this information to Don or Scott. I have been with both of them before and I need to talk to Don.
Rex Russell
(817) 689-4560
rexgrussell@gmail.com

RexRussell said...

I am trying to get in touch with Chad Matz father, Don or his brother Scott. My name is Rex Russell and I wrote a book with the permission and full knowledge of Don & Scott and it includes a chapter about Chad's life and how I met the three of them just before Chad went home to the be with the Lord. I have somehow lost Don's cell number. Please get this information to Don or Scott. I have been with both of them before and I need to talk to Don.
Rex Russell
(817) 689-4560
rexgrussell@gmail.com